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Post by gaseousclay on Mar 7, 2015 18:26:59 GMT -6
To make this short, my wife and I are separated and on the path to divorce. She lives in our home and I was forced out and now rent a crappy, overpriced apartment. I feel like I'm throwing my money away so I've been looking at buying a house on my own. My wife would have to sell our existing home since the mortgage is quite a bit and since I can't live there any longer.
So what tips or advice do you have for someone like me buying a house? Our current house was bought buy my wife, so it's in her name. I can only say that I have pretty good credit and only have student loan debt and a car payment which I share with the wife. The downside is that I don't have sh*t for savings since my wife took most of it. I'm weary of low down payment schemes but hate the idea of continuing to rent from some greazy slumlord.
Any tips for a novice?
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Post by brentkuz on Mar 7, 2015 22:16:12 GMT -6
Sell your current home and split it or have her buy you out.
Depends on the laws of your state. You might be better off staying in an apartment for a while until everything is final and sorted out.
Sorry for the divorce.
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Post by variable on Mar 7, 2015 23:55:41 GMT -6
Sell your current home and split it or have her buy you out. Depends on the laws of your state. You might be better off staying in an apartment for a while until everything is final and sorted out. Sorry for the divorce. Bold mine. I agree with that advice: don't purchase any major assets until the divorce is final. |
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Post by ickes on Mar 8, 2015 0:29:00 GMT -6
Sell your current home and split it or have her buy you out. Depends on the laws of your state. You might be better off staying in an apartment for a while until everything is final and sorted out. Sorry for the divorce. Bold mine. I agree with that advice: don't purchase any major assets until the divorce is final. I agree with this advice as well, lay low, no major purchases till it's finalized |
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Post by marauder on Mar 8, 2015 2:27:12 GMT -6
It's unfortunate and I would suggest the following:
1. Minimize risk and financial exposure. Save up as much as possible. If you feel you are overpaying for rent, move into something cheaper or more affordable.
2. Finalize divorce and take a final summary of your situation.
3. Plan ahead and look to the future. Once things are settled, you can think about buying a house.
Good luck!
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Post by DigDug on Mar 8, 2015 12:00:48 GMT -6
What the others said. It's usually not a good idea to make more then one big change at time. As far as renting - Good Price, Good Location/Apt, Good Landlord - it's hard to get all three, usually those apt. are word of mouth and the landlord doesn't need to advertise. Put the word out that your looking. Good Landlords don't want any drama. Don't say your getting a divorce (your just a calm guy who sold his house so you can focus on work). When it comes to Buying a home, Get a Good Realtor. Not a bartender or Hairstylist who sells homes on the side. Ask - are they a "Top Producer", how many home did they sell last year, how many in your price range? Explain your looking for value (like a pair of HA Gustins  Buy the ugly duckling, the house that just needs a good cleaning. The house should be worth more the day you buy it. Buy a house that not only you like but others like also (you may only need a 1 or 2 bedroom but most others want 3 or more). Just a few thoughts. |
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Post by gaseousclay on Mar 8, 2015 13:55:36 GMT -6
Good points, guys. I think you're right about needing to stay put until we sell the house. I'll likely look for a different apt - the one I'm in is an absolute sh*thole with barking dogs.
Right now I'm talking to someone from my credit union. They mentioned having a $1000 down option on buying houses, but it probably comes with strings attached like a higher apr rate. I've looked at quite a few houses and Im very tempted by what's avaialable. I only need a 2 bedroom so that my son has a room when he stays over. However, a lot of the houses I looked at had crappy pics that didn't give much detail of the interior. I'm looking for buzzword descriptions like 'foreclosure' or 'needs TLC' to determine if a home is worth the asking price, or if I'd be walking into a disaster
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2015 14:28:46 GMT -6
Good points, guys. I think you're right about needing to stay put until we sell the house. I'll likely look for a different apt - the one I'm in is an absolute sh*thole with barking dogs. Right now I'm talking to someone from my credit union. They mentioned having a $1000 down option on buying houses, but it probably comes with strings attached like a higher apr rate. I've looked at quite a few houses and Im very tempted by what's avaialable. I only need a 2 bedroom so that my son has a room when he stays over. However, a lot of the houses I looked at had crappy pics that didn't give much detail of the interior. I'm looking for buzzword descriptions like 'foreclosure' or 'needs TLC' to determine if a home is worth the asking price, or if I'd be walking into a disaster Fixer uppers aren't necessarily what you should avoid. There'll need to be extra money invested of course to get them good, but they'll usually come at a much lower market price, offsetting the overall cost. I'm looking to get married in the next year, and have been looking at places. I have excellent credit, but living in Northern Virginia, fixer uppers are all I can probably afford or will be able to get a loan on. |
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Post by brentkuz on Mar 8, 2015 16:52:55 GMT -6
Cheapest house in the best neighborhood.
Lay low my man for now. Save cash too. Cash is king and keep it out of the bank when you can.
In my personally humble opinion. 30 year mortgages are horrible and almost scams. $1000 down and stuff like that come with ARMs, points and PMI. Save be able to put 20% down so you skip PMI and save $$$.
I have a humble house bought it at 23 for $130k. 1/4 acre lot, 1300sq/ft house put down 20% and never looked back. It's not the biggest and best but has saved me a ton of money. Refinancing to a line of credit from a local credit union. 6yr fixed at 2.70% saves me 16k in interest.
But I digress.
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Post by gaseousclay on Mar 8, 2015 18:56:29 GMT -6
Good points, guys. I think you're right about needing to stay put until we sell the house. I'll likely look for a different apt - the one I'm in is an absolute sh*thole with barking dogs. Right now I'm talking to someone from my credit union. They mentioned having a $1000 down option on buying houses, but it probably comes with strings attached like a higher apr rate. I've looked at quite a few houses and Im very tempted by what's avaialable. I only need a 2 bedroom so that my son has a room when he stays over. However, a lot of the houses I looked at had crappy pics that didn't give much detail of the interior. I'm looking for buzzword descriptions like 'foreclosure' or 'needs TLC' to determine if a home is worth the asking price, or if I'd be walking into a disaster Fixer uppers aren't necessarily what you should avoid. There'll need to be extra money invested of course to get them good, but they'll usually come at a much lower market price, offsetting the overall cost. I'm looking to get married in the next year, and have been looking at places. I have excellent credit, but living in Northern Virginia, fixer uppers are all I can probably afford or will be able to get a loan on. Im not against fixer uppers, it just depends on what it is that needs fixing. It's hard because I've already come across several homes that looked move-in ready. One house I saw appeared to have new hardwood floors, kitchen appliances, etc. But again, not having a substantial down payment hurts me. You guys are right though. I keep telling myself that I'm throwing my money away by renting, however, I'd also be throwing money away if I got in over my head with a home purchase I'm not prepared to buy. After the mortgage payment there's insurance and utilities I'd have to pay which would boost the overall cost. I have another question, I've read that getting pre-approved for a mortgage usually works to a buyers advantage. But, I'm guessing I'd still be subject to some sorta down payment no matter what. I have no idea how the loan process works, so I'm wondering if I should just quit while I'm ahead and save money, or get pre-approved and go from there? |
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Post by variable on Mar 8, 2015 19:10:42 GMT -6
Save. Keep your cash flow positive. You're going to have enough expenses along the way with the lawyers.
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Post by Old26 on Mar 8, 2015 19:57:49 GMT -6
Cheapest house in the best neighborhood. Lay low my man for now. Save cash too. Cash is king and keep it out of the bank when you can. In my personally humble opinion. 30 year mortgages are horrible and almost scams. $1000 down and stuff like that come with ARMs, points and PMI. Save be able to put 20% down so you skip PMI and save $$$. I have a humble house bought it at 23 for $130k. 1/4 acre lot, 1300sq/ft house put down 20% and never looked back. It's not the biggest and best but has saved me a ton of money. Refinancing to a line of credit from a local credit union. 6yr fixed at 2.70% saves me 16k in interest. But I digress. Agree across the board. Sorry to hear about your troubles - lord knows I've got some doozies myself, but thankfully nothing about my marriage which is solid after 23+ years. We bought a small house (~1600ft/sq) in a great area that since went "Historic District". Our outlay has gone up 500% in 19 years. We just added a new room+ 1/2 bath and now we have no kids, so the place is more than big enough. 15 years or 20 is what you want with low interest rates. We pay 1/3 of what are kids do for a 2-bedroom place in LA. The area has some nearby challenges, but not enough to ruin our value or quality fo life. Only issue is shit schools, but that's not an issue either now. Take your time - fixer upper is OK but be real about what's wrong and what you're willing to deal with. Myself, I'll never go that route again as once is enough. Hoping my next place is built from the ground up, or a 1800's Victorian. Our place now is a 1906 bungalow. Every time the economy seems to pickup, we get offers in the mail and cold calls wanting to buy it. No dice. We pay less than kids with a studio apt in a shit area. Good luck. Don't get into something for the sake of doing it. And try to put more down and have a shorter mortgage term. |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2015 20:13:55 GMT -6
First, I hope it works out for the best for you, good luck. I divorced in 99 after 15 yrs. I would totally put house buying on the back burner. Divorce is a huge transition and changes will happen that you can't predict. At the same time opportunities may open as a result. Chance are, money will only get tighter for awhile. Renting isn't that bad if you find the right place, so find a better place. Save the house purchase for a more stable time in your life.
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Post by DigDug on Mar 8, 2015 20:24:06 GMT -6
There's PreQualified and PreApproved.
PreQualified is pretty simple. You meet with a bank/lender who gets some general info. Coming up with a debt to income ratio. They qualify you for a loan.
It's more to give you an idea on what you can start looking for.
PreApproved is a bit more.
Now the bank wants more info (pay stubs, credit report, spacifics).
If they like what they see. They give you a letter saying your PreAppoved (if nothing changes, yes we the bank will give a loan for X amount)
Sellers like this, your a serious buyer and can get the money.
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Post by DigDug on Mar 8, 2015 20:39:12 GMT -6
A very general rule of thumb.
Banks will give you up to 40% of your after debt income towards a Morg.
Example - you make $1000 a week gross that's $4000 a month
You have $1500 in debt per month (CC, auto loan, student loan, child support)
4000 - 1500 = 2500
Banks would give a loan of 40% of the $2500
That's $1000 for a Morg. But you have to minus your monthly taxes and Insurance from that 1000. Let's say that's $250 that leaves you $750 to go to the Morg (of the top of my head that means you can get a Morg for about 150k depending on what rates are)
But I'm no bank and every bank has there own odd rules
Rates are still very good. I'd still wait awhile and let things settle.
But just talk to a bank and get simply prequalified. Then go to open houses in that price range or lower. Keep your eye on rates (if they go higher then 4.5 you may want to jump in).
When the time and right house and right price all come together you don't want to hesitate. You'll be educated.
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Post by Winterland on Mar 9, 2015 0:24:38 GMT -6
Sorry to hear. I hate seeing people split up. One thing is to make sure there isn't a possibility of working things out. Counceling etc. Sounds like there is a child involved.
I don't think people should stay in a marriage that is terrible, which is also hard on kids but..
It just seems that divorce is so excepted that maybe some give up too easily.
Good luck whatever happens.
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Post by gaseousclay on Mar 9, 2015 5:52:16 GMT -6
Sorry to hear. I hate seeing people split up. One thing is to make sure there isn't a possibility of working things out. Counceling etc. Sounds like there is a child involved. I don't think people should stay in a marriage that is terrible, which is also hard on kids but.. It just seems that divorce is so excepted that maybe some give up too easily. Good luck whatever happens. yep, it's a real downer, but it's been going on for a year now. I got booted out of our house last March and i've tried to do everything in my power to make it work. She was the one who insisted on marriage counseling but nothing ever came from it. I think she's basically stalling on finalizing a divorce because she knows that she'll lose the house once that happens. Right now i'm paying rent on an apartment plus half our mortgage, half the car payment and half of all the bills. The only reason I do it is for my son (who will be 2 this month). I want for him to live in a stable environment that's close to daycare but something's gotta give. I'm exhausted from this entire ordeal and I just want to move on with my life. |
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Post by variable on Mar 9, 2015 6:40:21 GMT -6
Good luck, man.
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Post by brentkuz on Mar 9, 2015 8:47:53 GMT -6
Sounds like a horror story. Single in my 20's and no kids. Jeans, cars, and greyhounds. Too many bad marriage stories from guys really soured it.
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Post by bentin on Mar 10, 2015 13:33:46 GMT -6
Good luck to you. Went through the same a few years ago, without the kiddos. Remarried with a newborn now, couldn't be happier.
My ex and I owned our house for a decade. I haven't missed it for one second. I rent now, it's awesome. No late night $5k catastrophes, no mowing my yard, no worrying about outdated appliances, etc. Need more space? Move. Considering moving back to LA? Move. Mom wants to stay with us, move to a smaller space. Kitchen isn't fancy enough for the better half? Move.
It's awesome. No property tax. No concern about housing prices. Just saving to be able to buy a place in Edinburgh, Laguna Beach and / or Steamboat so I have a place to stay when we're both retired.
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Post by Mattbert on Mar 10, 2015 14:57:56 GMT -6
Just saving to be able to buy a place in Edinburgh, Laguna Beach and / or Steamboat so I have a place to stay when we're both retired. That is ... a diverse list. |
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Post by ickes on Mar 10, 2015 15:01:10 GMT -6
gaseousclay, bentin brings up a good point that I was going to bring up earlier but you seem intent on purchasing a house so I didn't bother. Now that bentin has brought it up I will chime in. I own a home, purchased it ten years ago when I was 25, made all the right moves everyone says to do (a sizeable down payment, fixed mortgage, modest size, decent area, etc..) and I really have no regrets about. However, I have huge doubts as to whether I would ever purchase a home again....well at least not until I'm older and in my golden years. The "American Dream" of being a homeowner that is for whatever reason taught to us as being the right move is not always the right move, and is sprinkled with a bit of bull shit imo. As bentin mentioned, there are a certain amount of expenses and headaches that actually come with owning a home that some people aren't aware of or just don't really give much thought to. HOA expenses, maintenance expenses, property taxes, etc...it can get to the point where the home almost owns you and you base your life around that sole possession in some way. And for what?? Do the benefits really outweigh the costs? I will keep my home, have it paid off when I am still relatively young, and maybe rent it out in the future for some supplemental income or something, not sure. Everybody's situation is different and I don't think being a homeowner is the right move for everyone.
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Post by bentin on Mar 10, 2015 15:25:51 GMT -6
Just saving to be able to buy a place in Edinburgh, Laguna Beach and / or Steamboat so I have a place to stay when we're both retired. That is ... a diverse list. Yeah, I haven't really narrowed down what I want to do when I'm old. I like to ski, surf, mountain bike and drink. Edinburgh is a shoe in if my knees keep getting worse. My wife likes to spend money, she's pretty well covered in each of those. |
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Post by Old26 on Mar 10, 2015 15:55:29 GMT -6
Just saving to be able to buy a place in Edinburgh, Laguna Beach and / or Steamboat so I have a place to stay when we're both retired. That is ... a diverse list. We ARE the world brah, we are... |
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Post by bentin on Mar 10, 2015 15:58:14 GMT -6
I'd throw Cape Town and Cologne into that mix, but have to draw the line somewhere.
Plus I'm scrared of real sharks and CT has a few too many of those.
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